I know this is after the fast – but you two are still in my prayers.
Remember that at one point Jesus had to choose between His relationship with God, or all the souls of the world… He choose His relationship with God.
It seems selfish – He chose what would benefit Himself vs. all of us. But it wasn’t selfish, it was right. And He showed us this so we could make the right decision.
About 10 years ago I had to make a similar decision. I chose wrong. Even though I was never out of church, I chose to internally turn my back on God and walked away from my ministry. It was a mistake wrapped in justified reasons, and I regret that more than anything else in my life.