Re: Demonic Possession
I don’t want to discount a possible supernatural cause; however, there are a couple of spiritual–but not demonic–reasons that I see as contributing to your difficulties in your relationship with Christ….
1. You’re caught up in addictive behaviors. Addictions control us and are essentially idols that we’re placing ahead of God. (I say this as someone with previous first-hand experience with addiction.)
2. You’re regularly doing things that it seems you would acknowledge are sinful. Unconfessed sin–especially habitual sin–creates a sort of barrier between us and God.
In my experience, I’ve seen too many people ask for prayer for deliverance from demons when the fact of the matter is that they actually need to address issues and choices in their lives and aren’t doing so.
Find a good recovery group (preferably a Christ-based one). Get as much accountability and prayer support around yourself as you can. Do everything you can to eliminate situations where you can do those activities, especially the pot. And pray. Pour your heart out to Jesus. Be honest about your feelings with Him. If you feel like He’s distant or abandoned you, tell Him. He can take it. Read through the Psalms. David frequently started out more or less chewing God out but always ended up praising Him in the end.
I’ll be praying for you.