The Lord bless you! It is cool that you are opening up for some advice, personal tracks are a precious thing. I would like to give a few, if that is alright.
The lyrics could use some polishing, like instead of keeping the words up and down with the beat, change the flow of them up to create a slightly different but complimentary flow with your kick/hat ect.
I like the center of the song were the breakdown is. I would refine the drums, add some compression or maybe update your drum pack library.
Overall good job! Keep worshiping the Lord. There is some real talent in all of this, just keep refining your craft and don’t give up. You have the Lord in you and He will breathe on your music when time comes.