Re: Standing in front of the floodgates. Now what?
Well, you are on the right path my friend. You are right to want to have your heart in it. It shows you are genuine in what you do.
I believe you are at the floodgates of a seriously big change in your life. On the one hand, you have the enemy trying to discourage you from being in that place, because they know where you’re at and the resulting domino effect if you will, that it will have in tearing down the darkness around you. On the other hand, you do have the right attitude and should not lose heart. I have been there, and know it’s not pretty sometimes, when the change is just around the corner.
Feeling numb is normal man. We all experience it at different stages of our walk and life. Sometimes my leg will fall asleep and get numb. Sometimes my funny bone is struck and my arm goes numb. It’s still there though, and working just fine.
Sometimes when something is numb, it is an alert to our brain to do something. Thank God that we notice this sensation. It’s a good thing, because apparently people with missing appendages still seem to feel their limbs as if they were there still.
So when something goes numb in my body I shift, or move it around a bunch, or massage it until feeling comes back. Perhaps, as moving and shifting in the flesh helps un-numb our bodies, maybe moving and shifting in the Spirit will help un-numb your heart? You ought to search it out and use your heart and imagination to find what spiritually stirs you. For me, I find I need a variety of regular doses of things like fellowship in multiple forms with other Christians, some worship music, getting into a secret place in my heart and worshipping Him in spirit and truth, listening to scripture put to soft music, just stopping and facing my heart and attention to God and just saying “hello” and starting any ol conversation. Lol. What moves you may be different, but I encourage you to find it.
To pull the lever to the floodgates might just be to make that movement and shifting in your spirit, in order to un-numb your heart. It might be to open up yourself to a new realm of fellowship and worship.
I wouldn’t be afraid of it either. God knows if you are ready or not. In His perfect timing it is all beautifully orchestrated.
You can add me on skype if you want and sometimes we all get together on there and just have fun. For me, those times are precious and necessary.
My skype name is sixty-six