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Standing in front of the floodgates. Now what?


Home Forums Spiritual Discussions Standing in front of the floodgates. Now what?

This topic contains 6 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by Avatar of Goldenflower Goldenflower 6 years, 10 months ago.

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  • #22397

    I don’t know what’s happened. About nine months ago I was what one would called ‘saved’ finally coming to know the truth about Jesus Christ. On the outside, I changed pretty quicky. I stopped going to big parties, stopped the drugs, starded going to church etc. never feeling like I didnt want to. Nothing in me really wants to go back to my old ways because I’m much more full now, but a part of me knew that my heart wasn’t fully in it. This led me to start questioning whether I was acctually saved. I felt like I was living behind the title and not really serving God. I’ve been praying pretty hard lately for God to light a fire in me and did a sort of renewal on my vows with God, seriously comitting myself to learning about Him and serving Hime the way He is meant to be served.

    Now I’m here. Something’s going on inside me. On one hand it feels like im just blank inside. Completely numb. At the same time feels like I’m standing in front of floodgates that are about to burst with the lever that opens them in my hand. I’m not really sure what to do at this point. For starters I don’t know what i need to do to pull this figurative lever, and also I’m kind of scared that I’m going to be drowned in a big spiritual mess and I don’t know if I’m ready for it. The most frustrating part is: I asked for this.

    Any advice/prayer would be much appreciated.

    #34737
    Avatar of JHT3
    JHT3
    Member

    Well, you are on the right path my friend. You are right to want to have your heart in it. It shows you are genuine in what you do.

    I believe you are at the floodgates of a seriously big change in your life. On the one hand, you have the enemy trying to discourage you from being in that place, because they know where you’re at and the resulting domino effect if you will, that it will have in tearing down the darkness around you. On the other hand, you do have the right attitude and should not lose heart. I have been there, and know it’s not pretty sometimes, when the change is just around the corner.

    Feeling numb is normal man. We all experience it at different stages of our walk and life. Sometimes my leg will fall asleep and get numb. Sometimes my funny bone is struck and my arm goes numb. It’s still there though, and working just fine.

    Sometimes when something is numb, it is an alert to our brain to do something. Thank God that we notice this sensation. It’s a good thing, because apparently people with missing appendages still seem to feel their limbs as if they were there still.

    So when something goes numb in my body I shift, or move it around a bunch, or massage it until feeling comes back. Perhaps, as moving and shifting in the flesh helps un-numb our bodies, maybe moving and shifting in the Spirit will help un-numb your heart? You ought to search it out and use your heart and imagination to find what spiritually stirs you. For me, I find I need a variety of regular doses of things like fellowship in multiple forms with other Christians, some worship music, getting into a secret place in my heart and worshipping Him in spirit and truth, listening to scripture put to soft music, just stopping and facing my heart and attention to God and just saying “hello” and starting any ol conversation. Lol. What moves you may be different, but I encourage you to find it.

    To pull the lever to the floodgates might just be to make that movement and shifting in your spirit, in order to un-numb your heart. It might be to open up yourself to a new realm of fellowship and worship.

    I wouldn’t be afraid of it either. God knows if you are ready or not. In His perfect timing it is all beautifully orchestrated.

    You can add me on skype if you want and sometimes we all get together on there and just have fun. For me, those times are precious and necessary.

    My skype name is sixty-six

    #34738
    Avatar of JHT3
    JHT3
    Member

    Well, you are on the right path my friend. You are right to want to have your heart in it. It shows you are genuine in what you do.

    I believe you are at the floodgates of a seriously big change in your life. On the one hand, you have the enemy trying to discourage you from being in that place, because they know where you’re at and the resulting domino effect if you will, that it will have in tearing down the darkness around you. On the other hand, you do have the right attitude and should not lose heart. I have been there, and know it’s not pretty sometimes, when the change is just around the corner.

    Feeling numb is normal man. We all experience it at different stages of our walk and life. Sometimes my leg will fall asleep and get numb. Sometimes my funny bone is struck and my arm goes numb. It’s still there though, and working just fine.

    Sometimes when something is numb, it is an alert to our brain to do something. Thank God that we notice this sensation. It’s a good thing, because apparently people with missing appendages still seem to feel their limbs as if they were there still.

    So when something goes numb in my body I shift, or move it around a bunch, or massage it until feeling comes back. Perhaps, as moving and shifting in the flesh helps un-numb our bodies, maybe moving and shifting in the Spirit will help un-numb your heart? You ought to search it out and use your heart and imagination to find what spiritually stirs you. For me, I find I need a variety of regular doses of things like fellowship in multiple forms with other Christians, some worship music, getting into a secret place in my heart and worshipping Him in spirit and truth, listening to scripture put to soft music, just stopping and facing my heart and attention to God and just saying “hello” and starting any ol conversation. Lol. What moves you may be different, but I encourage you to find it.

    To pull the lever to the floodgates might just be to make that movement and shifting in your spirit, in order to un-numb your heart. It might be to open up yourself to a new realm of fellowship and worship.

    I wouldn’t be afraid of it either. God knows if you are ready or not. In His perfect timing it is all beautifully orchestrated.

    You can add me on skype if you want and sometimes we all get together on there and just have fun. For me, those times are precious and necessary.

    My skype name is sixty-six

    #34739
    Avatar of graphite412
    graphite412
    Participant

    @JHT3 wrote:

    For me, I find I need a variety of regular doses of things like fellowship in multiple forms with other Christians, some worship music, getting into a secret place in my heart and worshipping Him in spirit and truth, listening to scripture put to soft music, just stopping and facing my heart and attention to God and just saying “hello” and starting any ol conversation.

    X2.

    I’m on skype as well, I’m not on there as often anymore because I don’t have the internet but my username is graphite412

    #34740
    Avatar of Monster Baby
    Monster Baby
    Participant

    What your going through will build character… I think the word that will help you most is “perseverance”.. you have to stick with it and run the race marked out for you.. remember the prize is heaven. Keep your sights set on it and don’t let the devil try and fool you in to believing you are not saved..

    #34741

    Hey guys thank you all for the input and advice, it’s been quite helpful. This has been a very important lesson for me and one I asked for. I asked God to break me down and build me back up in Him so that I could truly understand what loving God meant. He’s been impressively faithful to me, and it never ceases to amaze me how He answers my prayer. I believe I was made numb because I told God that I wanted to learn to love Him more than anything. That night it felt like I didn’t have any love. I also had lost he passion I had for djing for the last few weeks. I was leaning on music instead of God, and taking that passion away made me realize i didnt love God nearly enough. Yesterday the floodgates opened and it was beautiful. I feel so energized, and I’m mixing again. I’m learning to love and praise God in all situations. I’m learning to be happy with nothing to hold onto but God, and it feels awesome. It’s a long and narrow road, I just hope I’m one of the few that find it.

    He is AMAZING!

    Thanks again for the advice guys, it really means a lot.

    Ps. I’ll add you guys on skype right now.

    #34742
    Avatar of Goldenflower
    Goldenflower
    Member

    God is so faithful. Praise the Lord for your testimony and His awesomeness!

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